Description
Jillian Horton, a general internist and Anishinaabe/European, has no idea what to expect during her five-day retreat at Chapin Mill, a Zen centre in upstate New York. She just knows she desperately needs a break. At first she is deeply uncomfortable with the spartan accommodations, silent meals and scheduled bonding sessions. But as the group struggles through awkward first encounters and guided meditations, something remarkable happens: world-class surgeons, psychiatrists, pediatricians and general practitioners open up and share stories about their secret guilt and grief, as well as their deep-seated fear of falling short of the expectations that define them. Horton realizes that her struggle with burnout is not so much personal as it is the result of a larger system failure, and that compartmentalizing your most difficult emotions—a coping strategy that is drilled into doctors—is not useful unless you face these emotions too.
Jillian Horton throws open a window onto the flawed system that shapes medical professionals, revealing the rarely acknowledged stresses that lead doctors to depression and suicide, and emphasizing the crucial role of compassion not only in treating others, but also in taking care of ourselves.
Review
“...an ode to the healing of healers. The author’s fierce love for humanity and life shines brilliantly throughout. In a plaintive yet compelling voice, Dr. Jillian Horton gives us a rare glimpse into the hearts and minds of highly-trained physicians, their vulnerability and perpetual angst. Jillian uses a balance of artful intensity and levity to recount her five-day healing journey alongside a cast of intriguing peers in a seemingly inadvertent yet urgent plea for reform in the training and specialization of those who care for the health of our society. This is a book I didn’t want to put down.” — Darrel J. Macleod, author of Mamaskatch: A Cree Coming of Age